The Sky Won't Fall Forever
by PaSsIoNaTeDrEaMer
Summary: Everything happens for a reason. Only fate can choose when the time is right. Even when things seem like they couldn't be any harder, remember, The Sky Won't Fall Forever.......MD
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN GREYS, obviously.

Fic written by luvsmcdreamy & fanatik from The Grey Area ! Enjoy, read, review and keep us motivated!!

1

We were standing in the rain. He looked so broken, but I had things to say and damnit he was going to listen to me. He had broken me so many times, but this last time, that was it. I couldn't be put back together. Not here. Not in Seattle. Not with him.

Tears were streaming down my face. I could taste the salt as it passed over my lips. He started to walk toward me, I took a step back. "No, Derek. Don't. This," I pointed between myself and him, "This is over. You have broken me too many damn times. You may be a brain surgeon but you can be pretty damn brainless sometimes!"

"But Meredith-"

"Save it Derek. You had I don't know how many chances to make things work. You have had so many chances..." I started to lose control by now. He makes me so crazy! Why can't he just let me go? He obviously doesn't want me or he would have left Addison by now, but No. He chose her. He picked her. He loves her.

With that last thought, I finally did it. Something I should have done a long time ago, "Goodbye Derek." I turned and began to walk away, part of me hoping he would come after me, the other part hoping I would never have to see him again.

Derek POV

I stood their in the icy cold rain looking at the love of my life, and feeling my heart break in two. I had managed to hurt her again. She was crying and I wanted so badly to make her pain go away. I wanted her to understand that this time was different, but she had no reason to believe that. I had picked my wife over her once, why would she believe I wouldn't do it again? I had to try to make her understand. I started to walk towards her so that I could touch her, hug her, talk to her.

""No, Derek. Don't. This," she said. , "This is over. You have broken me too many damn times. You may be a brain surgeon but you can be pretty damn brainless sometimes!"

Her words cut through me like a knife. I couldn't lose her, not again, not like this.

"But Meredith.." I tried to say. I could'nt get my word out because she cut me off.

"Save it Derek. You had I don't know how many chances to make things work. You have had so many chances..." She paused and I was praying that she was re-thinking things.

"Good-bye Derek" Meredith said. I stood there for a moment frozen.

"Meredith wait! Don't go! I love you" I yelled. But my word were swallowed by the wind and rain. I began to run after but slipped and fell hard on the concrete. By the time, I was able to get up I could see Meredith driving away in her car. She would never know that I had gone after her. I couldn't believe it. I had lost her, and I felt like my world was crashing down around my ears. How was I going to live without Meredith Grey? 


	2. Chapter 2

_**2**_

_**In the light of the sun **_

_**Is there anyone **_

_**Oh it has begun **_

_**Oh dear you look so lost **_

_**Eyes are red **_

_**And tears are shed **_

_**This world you must have crossed**_

I drove until I couldn't drive any more. It was 5am and the sun was rising over the horizon. I had been driving for what felt like forever and I was exhausted. I pulled into the nearest hotel parking lot and stepped out into the warm morning. I had made it to a small town in Iowa.

I stretched my legs and arms, grabbed my overnight back and walked into the hotel praying they had a soft bed and a shower. Today was the first day of the rest of my life.

A few hours later, I awoke and walked toward the shower. I really needed to get back on the road. I still felt as though I was too close to Seattle. Too close to my problems. Too close to Derek. I showered quickly and wrapped my hair into a loose knot and threw on my Dartmouth tee and some old worn jeans. They had holes in the knees but I didn't care. They were my favorites and they were damn comfortable. As I walked into the lobby, I noticed a young man, early twenties or so, and a woman, around the same age. She was begging him to stay. She had tears rolling down her face as she asked him to love her forever. The man replied, "I cannot love you anymore. I gave my heart to someone else a long time ago. I'm sorry." He began to walk away and Meredith heard the young woman scream, "But I'm you're WIFE!" The man stopped. He turned to look at the desperate woman, his face softening a bit. "I'm sorry. It just won't work. Even if we tried, we would both regret it later. I'm sorry. Goodbye." With that, the man left the woman crying in the lobby.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I walked toward her and offered her a hand. Oh how I had been in her position. We all know how that one ended, except he chose to stay with his wife, instead of me, His so called love of his life.

She gratefully accepted my hand as the two of us sat on the couch In the lobby. The younger woman, who wasn't much younger than myself ,looked up at me, her deep blue eyes full of pain. "Thank you," she whispered. "For helping me." I nodded and smiled as warmly as I could, knowing my heart was not only breaking over Derek, but for what she had just been through, and how many times I had been in her shoes.

Her name was Katherine, Kate for short. She and I started talking about what had happened that morning. "I've known for months. Since about a month after we got married. I tried to ignore the nagging feeling, I tried so hard. But he, he works with her and I, I, I," her sobs became more intense as she grabbed my hand for support. I squeezed back letting her know I was there to listen. She calmed down enough to finish her sentence. "Sorry," she smiled weakly, "As I was saying, they work together, I used to work there too, that's how we all met, but I had just quit because I found out I was pregnant." I tried to keep my jaw from hitting the floor and the only thing I could do was reach out and hug her. This poor woman. Her asshole husband left her alone and pregnant for his dirty mistress! What a prick!

"Oh Kate. I'm so sorry." She smiles at me. "How far along are you?"

"Four and a half months. I'm finally starting to show." She pressed her shirt down against her stomach and you could see a hint of a bump. I smiled and suddenly, I had an idea.

"Kate, where are you going to go? What are you going to do?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders so I continued.

"Come with me. I know we hardly know each other, but we are both going thru the same thing, I think we could really help each other. And I would be happy to help you with the baby." Her eyes began to well up as a huge smile plastered her face.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Now lets go get what you will need and hit the road."

Kate stood up and as we were walking out the door she asked me, "So, Mer, where are we headed?"

I smiled at her, "Boston. We're going to Boston."

Der POV:  
I stood there looking at the place where Meredith's car used to be. I couldn't believe I had let her slip through my fingers again. How stupid could I be? Oh, well maybe I just didn't deserve her. I wondered where she was going. Would she be gone for a few days? Or was she leaving forever? The very thought made my stomach drop. I didn't think I could live with that. I got in my car, and drove through the streets to her house to see if she had gone home first. Her car was not there.I waited for two hours and no cars pulled up. So, I got out of my car and went up to knock on the door just in case. I waited a while and was just about to leave when the door opened.

"Oh, Dr. Sheperd." George said to me, looking uncomfortable. I guess I couldn't blame him. His loyalties were to Meredith.

"Is Meredith here? I really need to talk to her? It's imperative." I told him.

"Nope, she hasn't been here all evening." George told me, now looking at me sadly.

"What is it George?" I asked.

"I just don't get it. If you want Meredith, why are you still with Addison? Seems like you're making your world a whole lot more complicated." he said to me.

I stood there thinking. Where does he get off telling me what to do! He's never been married! How would possibly understand what I was going through! I was about to open my mouth and give him a piece of my mind and then I realized something.

He was right.

I should have had the balls to end things with Addison, but I didn't. But all that could change. So all I could say to George was "You're right. You are one hundred percent right. But it's too late now"  
"What do you mean?" George asked.

"You'll find out soon enough" I said and I turned around and left. I had to go home and face Addison sooner or later.

* * *

DEREK POV 

I got back in my car and drove home. As I drove through the streets of Seattle, I contemplated what George said. If I had only been more brave, and left Addison earlier, Meredith would be mine. I grieved for what my fear had cost me. As I pulled onto the road where the trailer was, I dreaded seeing Addison. What kind of person dreads their own wife?

I got out of my car and walked into the trailer.

"Hi Honey!" Addison said. She was wearing her favorite black Gucci dress, and had a meal on the table for us. Oh god, Could I feel any worse? My wife was making me dinner, and dressing up for me, and I couldn't stop thinking about Meredith. I had given my heart to her and there was no chance of getting it back.

I walked in and sat down to eat. Addison came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my neck to hug me. It was a nice gesture, but I couldn't help but wish the arms belonged to Meredith. She kissed my cheek and then walked around to her side of the table.

"Derek is something wrong? You look awfully sad" she asked me.

"I'm fine. I 'm just exhausted." I lied. I was so going straight to hell. This was my wife. My wife. And I couldn't even bring myself to be romantic with her. We finished eating dinner, and I got undressed and crawled into bed. Addison got undressed and crawled in next to me. She began kissing my neck,. Making her way up to my ear. I closed my eyes, and tried to enjoy it, but all I could see was Meredith. This just felt so wrong. So I said.

"I'm sorry honey. Not tonight. I have a headache." And then rolled over and went to sleep. Only, I just gave the appearance of being asleep. In reality, I tossed and turned all night.


	3. Chapter 3

3

After 2 more days of driving, Kate and I finally arrived in Boston. First stop: Gas station. We needed to find a paper so we could check out the classifieds and find an apartment.

Once we had all we needed (newspaper, bottled water, and some chocolate) we made our way to Boston Harbor Hotel. Kate gasped as we pulled into the parking lot. Obviously she's never been to Boston. I laugh to myself as her eyes widen at all the beauty she sees. I parked the jeep and we walked inside and checked in. Once we got to the room, it was time to search for somewhere to live.

"I think I'm going to love Boston!" Kate exclaimed!

"Yea its gorgeous here. Especially in the fall."

"So you've been here?"

"Yes, I used to live here. I went to Dartmouth."

"Wow. So what do you do?"

"Im a doctor. OH shit!" I just remembered I never told Dr. Webber I was leaving. Thank goodness I was still on vacation. I pulled out my cell and dialed Seattle Grace Hospital. I dialed the number I knew so well, waiting for Dr. Webber to pick up. "Seattle Grace Hospital, this is Dr. Shepherd."I froze. I couldn't speak. Why was HE answering the chief's personal line? "Hello? Is anyone there?" I felt the color drain from my face as I quickly snapped my phone shut.

Derek POV:  
The next day I went to work, and was glad at least that it would help me get my mind off of Meredith. I walked into my office to check my messages, and before I had the chance my phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hello, Dr. Sheperd's office" I said.

"Hi Derek. It's Richard."

"Hi Richard. How are you" I said, I wondered what was going on. Richard never called me. And why wasn't he at work?

"I'm ok. Listen, I have to go for the night to Portland to meet with a few of the hospital proprietors that live down that way. It's an emergency meeting, and I'll fill you in later. But, if you would, I'd like you to be acting chief for until tomorrow night. I've already informed the hospital administration." Richard said.

"Of course Richard. Thank you so much for the opportunity." I said barely containing my glee.

"Thank you Derek. See you tomorrow." Richard said before hanging up.

For a moment, I was so excited I could hardly contain it. If I could prove myself, maybe Richard would name me as his successor. But then I remembered that I did not have Meredith to share this with, and all joy left me. I walked down the hall and into the chief's office. I would need to be there in case anyone went looking for him.

I sat down in his chair, and began thinking about what had happened the day before, my marriage, and what to do about the whole situation. My reverie was broken by the sound of the phone ringing.

I picked it up and said. "Seattle Grace Hospital, this is Dr. Shepherd."

But I could hear nothing but breathing, and then the phone clicked and there was a dial tone. I looked at the caller ID and what I saw made my heart race immediately. It was Meredith's cell phone. I immediately picked up the phone, and dialed her back. While the phone was ringing something occurred to me. Why would Meredith be calling the chief? All of the sudden, I felt seriously sick. Meredith was calling to ask the chief to transfer, I was sure of it. Meredith's voicemail picked up and I hung up the phone. I had to talk to her, I just had to. I picked up the phone and tried a few more times to no avail. What was I going to do? If she transferred, there would no more chances for us. I had never felt so lost, or more confused. 


	4. Chapter 4

4 

I jumped up off the bed and rushed to the bathroom. I let it all out. The tears burned my eyes and I no longer held them in. How his voice sounded when he answered the phone. How much I truly miss him was haunting me. I knew I would always love him, but this, this was too much. I needed to speak with Dr. Webber so that I could be transferred. There was no way in hell I was going to ask Derek to transfer me. Then, he would know where to find me. I left to get away from him. How would telling him I'm in Boston solve anything? I know Derek. He would come after me.

Once I calmed myself and washed the trace of tears from my face, I exited the bathroom to see Kate sitting on the bed with my phone in her hands. She looked up at me, "Mer, you're phone rang. I didn't answer it though. I almost did, then saw the name flash across it. It said Derek. Is that the same Derek you told me about?" I nodded sadly, wondering if he would ever stop calling me.

I had told Kate all about Derek on our way to Boston. She knew him almost as well as I did without even meeting him. She knew how often he called, at least every half an hour to hour. All day long. How I wished he would just quit. It was making this whole leaving thing so much harder.

Kate must have noticed my face drop, she piped up real fast, "Come on, its time to find us a place to live!"

Kate and I had circled the possible apartments and houses in our price range and made a list. We walked out of the hotel and headed toward our first destination.

The cab pulled up to an older Victorian house. It was gorgeous. Perfect picture of Boston's historical culture. We walked up the walk and found the realtor who was showing it to us. She smiled widely as we approached. "Hi, I'm Valerie. So, you're interested in the house?" We smiled as we followed her inside the house. It was just as beautiful on the inside as it was the outside.

I looked around. Oak floors, Oak cabinets, the woodwork was amazing. Tall ceilings. Spacious rooms. This place was gorgeous. Luckily, I had been saving most of my money in case I ever needed it. Kate and I continued to tour the house with Valerie, Kate's eyes lighting up when we reached the small room at the end of the hallway.

The room was full of windows, which meant tons of natural light. There was a perfect place for a crib, changing table and diaper bin right between two of the windows. It was almost like this room had been designed with a nursery in mind. I looked over at Kate who was falling more in love with the place as we walked through it. I finally decided to speak up, "We'll take it."

We signed the papers that day and had until the following Monday to get moved in. Kate was finally beginning to get more excited about the arrival of her baby, and I was happy that my life was moving forward.

* * *

DEREK POV

For the first few days that Meredith was gone, I could think of nothing but her. During that time, I talked to the chief to check in and he told me that knew where Meredith was, but had been sworn to secrecy. So, I tried to keep my mind off of her by throwing myself into work. It turned out that the chief needed to stay away an extra few days due to a family emergency and he asked me to continue covering as acting chief for a little longer. I was only too happy to oblige him. I had several surgeries that day, so I told Patricia that if anyone needed me, they could find me there and I went off to do my surgeries. She had to get me twice during the time that I was on surgery. Once for a heated argument between Drs. Burke and Hahn regarding who had priority for surgery, and once for a small chemical spill that required the pit to be evacuated for an hour, while we took care of the situation. Finally, I was nearing the end of the day.

I had only 30 more minutes of work left, when I entered the chief's office. I collapsed in the chair, not noticing that someone else was in the room. Suddenly someone was running their hands through my hair, and kissing my neck from behind and for some reason I could smell tequila. My heart lept, and my pulse increased. The very thought of her turned me on. Could Meredith really be back in Seattle? It was too good to be true. For a moment, before I swiveled around, I allowed myself to imagine what I would say and do if she were here. Finally, I turned around in the chair feeling so excited and relieved, and what I saw made my face drop. Well, I tried really hard to prevent it from dropping, but I don't know how successful I was. Standing in front of me was my wife, Addison. I know, I know, I'm evil. I was disappointed to see my own wife. But they do say, that you can't help who you fall in love with right? And I had never felt about anyone the way I feel about Meredith Grey. Not to mention, I have not been able to see Addison the same since I caught her screwing my best friend.

"Hi honey" she said seductively. "I though maybe we could celebrate tonight, and we can start with this right here." She held out a tequila bottle and two shot glasses.

"Addi, I " but I was cutoff by the peal of the phone ringing.

"Seattle Grace Hospital, this is Dr. Sheperd." I said.

"Hi Derek. How are you?" the chief said sounding exhausted.

"I'm great, but you don't sound so good Richard. What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well, I 'm just exhausted. Listen, I am coming back today. But before this got extended I was supposed to go to a conference in Boston on how to develop professional developments that are effective. But I have been away too long, and I am hoping you'll go in my place, and then bring the information back to me." he said.

I thought about it. It would be good to get away for a few days, and it would earn me some brownie point with the chief. Just as I was about to answer he said,

"Oh and Derek, if you go to Boston, it may be awfully grey. Just so you know"  
Oh my gosh! The chief was telling me that Meredith was there! Well, he didn't really tell me. He just implied really strongly.

"Richard I would love to do that for you." I said quite seriously. I needed to see Meredith, and I needed her to know that I love her. That I am unbelievably in love with her.

We hung up the phone with the agreement that I would be on a plane first thing in the morning. I explained to Addison that I had to get up early to catch a 6:00 flight, so I needed to go home and get to sleep, and I couldn't miss the disappointment and pain etched in her features. I knew I was making excuses. When we were first married, nothing would have stopped me from taking the opportunity to have sex with her. But things were different now. I knew it was so wrong to blow her off. But wasn't it more wrong to kiss her and have sex with her, all the while thinking of someone else? I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew then that things would never go back to the way they were, and that I needed to seriously consider moving on. So, it is settled. I am going to Boston to tell Meredith that I am hopelessly in love with her, and I moving forward with my divorce.


	5. Chapter 5

Just a filler, Thanks all for the comments and reviews! We just posted FIVE new chapters! Please, the more you review, the faster we update!

Songs used in the first 4 chapters:

CH. 2: BostonAugustana

We use a lot of songs as reference. We will stick little blurbs in after a few chaps to credit them! Enjoy and R&R PLEASE!

Tiffany & Erin


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days were hectic. Kate and I shopped for furniture, new clothes, things for the nursery along with getting ourselves settled in our new house. I had finally reached Dr. Webber and explained the situation and had been granted my transfer to Boston General.

The alarm woke me from my slumber. I grunted as I Rolled over to look at the clock: 4:15am. Ah the life of an intern. I drag myself out of bed and head toward the shower to find the door locked. "What the—" Before I could finish my thought, Kate walked out of the bathroom, pale and flushed. "Kate, what's wrong?"

"Mer, I don't feel so well. I know its not morning sickness. This is a different feeling. Do you think I could ride in with you this morning? You know, get checked out?" Her eyes told me there was something seriously wrong with her so I skipped my shower and we rushed toward the ER of Boston General.

We arrived in a rush, I had called and prepared my future resident that I would be late and was bringing a friend into the ER. The second I laid eyes on the resident that was walking toward Kate I stopped dead in my tracks. "You have GOT to be kidding me!" There, less than ten feet from me stood none other than Dr. Mark Sloan. Seriously, God must really have it in for me.

"Mark?!" He smiled that McSteamy smile of his when he saw me, but his face quickly changed when he saw that I had Kate with me. "Kate?" Mark knows her? What the hell? This day just keeps getting better and better.

"Markie!" Kate squealed when she saw Mark.

"Markie?" I questioned.

"Mom said you were transferred to Boston! I never put two and two together! It's so good to see you big brother!" Kate exclaimed.

OK, now seriously. I've been paired up with Mark Sloans sister? What are the odds...

"Katiebug! What are you doing in Boston and where's Jeff?" Mark knelt down to his sisters level.

"Jeff left me, Markie. My friend Meredith here saw the whole thing happen. He had been cheating on me, and he left me for his stupid dirty mistress!" Kate broke down into her brothers arms, and mark looked up at me, with a thankful look in his eyes.

After they got Kate settled in her room, Mark guided me into the hallway. "Meredith Grey, what the hell are you doing in Boston? Running away from your troubles again?" He cocked his eyebrow at me. Damn, he knew me too well.

I nodded and sighed loudly. He and I walked toward the cafeteria and we continued to talk. "Mark, he did it again. He chose Addison. I was fighting a war I would never win. I tried, I really tried to move on, but I couldn't. I just couldn't bear seeing them together." Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, but I held them back. Mark listened intently to me as I spoke, and for once in my life, I was grateful that one person from my past had walked back into my life.

Even though Mark and I weren't exactly 'friends', we had a lot in common: the whole dirty mistress disaster, Kate, my roomie, was his sister, and of course, Derek and Addison. Was God trying to tell me something? Nah, not Mark. Seriously, NOT Mark. I laughed to myself.

"What?" He asked me. He must have noticed the amused look on my face.

"Oh, nothing. SO, what brought you to Boston?" I asked sweetly, trying to change the subject.

"Plastics, baby. Didn't you know Boston General has the #2 Plastics unit on the coast?"

Figures. Mark is like a bug attracted to light when plastics and recognition are concerned.

I couldn't help but laugh at him. I liked Mark. Now I understood why Addison would go from someone like Derek to a man like Mark. He was funny, cocky in a sexy way, and he was well, McSteamy. Damnit! Stop thinking those thoughts Meredith! He's MARK. My fellow dirty mistress in crime! UGH! I noticed him about to speak when his pager went off. He looked at it and jumped up from the table. "Let's go, its Kate!"

Mark and I sprinted toward Kate's room to see nurses bustling about. "What happened?" Mark rushed to Kate's side and she grabbed his hand.

"She's going into preterm labor Dr. Sloan. We have to give her something to stop the contractions."

"Well, then what the hell are you waiting for? Give them to her!" Mark snapped back at the nurse. "It's okay Katiebug I'm here. You're not alone. Meredith's here too." He motioned for me to come to her other side. "We're here for you Kate. We won't ever let you down." Mark looked at me.

"He's right Kate. We're here for you. No matter what. Be strong. You can't have this baby yet! We don't even have the nursery finished! We just moved in a few days ago!" Kate laughed at my last comment.

"This is true, Mer, this is true."

"Kate, do you know what you're having yet?" Mark asked her. I noticed he had grabbed the ultrasound wand and was fixing to get his first glance at his niece or nephew.

I watched in awe as Mark pressed the wand to Kates now showing abdomen. There it was. Her baby. Mark's niece or nephew. I know I had seen numerous ultrasounds, but this one was different. It was personal. I subconsciously placed my hand on my own stomach and smiled.

I wanted children. I really did. The smile faded as my thoughts drifted back to our last night together. It was prom. I was with Finn, Derek with Addison. He looked at me. Our look. He had dirty in his eyes. I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe. Almost like he was telling me I was who he wanted. His eyes spoke to me, so I ran. I had to get away. I couldn't bear looking into eyes I knew I couldn't have. But, he followed me. He chased me down and shared the most erotic encounter I've ever had. We made love in the on call room. Just us. No Finn. No Addison. No world. It was just us. Meredith and Derek.

I sighed as I focused my attention back to the monitor. "Ready Kate?" I asked her, squeezing her hand. She nodded excitedly at me and we both watched as Mark exposed the sex of her baby.

"It's a boy! Oh my gosh Kate, I have a nephew!" Mark was glowing, Kate was crying, and I was nauseus. I let go of Kate's hand and ran into the bathroom, emptying my stomach of last nights dinner. What the hell?

I walked back into the room where Mark and Kate were looking at me curiously. "Everything okay Mer?" Kate asked me with concerned eyes. Mark walked up and felt my head, seeing if I was running temperature.

"You look flushed. Are you feeling alright Meredith?"

"Mark, I just upchucked last nights dinner, how do you think I feel? Oh, congrats Kate! A baby boy! I'm so excited for you." I suddenly felt sick again, and ran back into the bathroom wondering what the hell was going on with me.

I exited the bathroom for the second time to see Kate's eyes closed and Mark waiting for me with a skeptical look on his face. He whispered, "The drugs knocked her out. Come with me Mer." He led me into the hallway and then into another room. "Sit."

I sat. He pulled out a syringe and popped on some gloves. "What are you doing Mark?" I am curious as to what he has going on inside that head of his.

"Giving you a pregnancy test Meredith."

"But I haven't—I haven't had sex in—" I stopped. No way. No way in hell. Could it be true? It had been about three and a half weeks since prom and the last time I was with Derek. My mind started reeling, picking up on what was happening to me. I began to cry. Not just a little. A lot. Mark quickly finished the test and sent them to the lab. He climbed up on the bed next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"It'll be okay Meredith. No matter what happens, the same goes for you. I'm here. I won't leave you to be alone." I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and the last thing I remember before falling asleep in Mark's arms were Derek's last words that night of prom: "What does this mean?"

The sun shone through the window into my eyes, causing me to wake. I looked around. I was in a hospital bed next to Kate's and Mark was sitting between the two of us, holding both our hands. I smiled at the sight, then remembered WHY I was in the hospital bed. I jumped up, causing Mark to wake up. "The test results? Mark, what did they say?" My heart was pounding, my mind racing, but somehow, I already knew the answer.

He looked at me, sadly almost, "Mere, you're pregnant."

I smiled sadly, fighting back the tears. At the time, I didn't know whether they were tears of sorrow or tears of joy. Sorrow, because I was pregnant with the only man I had ever loved's child, or happy that I was being blessed with his child.

DEREK POV

I arrived in Boston, and went to my hotel. As soon, as I dropped my stuff of and changed my clothes, I left for the conference. At first, we sat in a large hall listening to a lecture. But our instructor told us that after lunch we were going to meet back at the local hospital to see an effective professional development in action. I went into town and had lunch at a Mexican restaurant, and then arrived at the local hospital a few minutes early. I was looking for the conference room, when I heard a familiar voice.

"Well, if it isn't Rico Suave Sheperd" the voice said in amusement.

I turned around and came face to face with Mark Sloan, my ex-best friend. As soon as I saw him, I whirled back around and took off in the other direction.

"Come on Derek, when did things get this bad between us. We used to be like brothers" he said in a pleading voice.

I seethed in anger, and turned around. "I'll tell you when. Things got this bad, when you decided to start screwing my wife" I replied, and turned around to walk off.

"I admit if Derek. I messed up royally. I wouldn't blame you if you never trusted me again."

At this point, I had stopped in my tracks. Mark had never taken responsibility.

He continued on. "And I am more sorry than you will ever know. No woman is worth our friendship. And we have know each other all our lives, isn't that worth trying to save? Just at least have dinner with me tonight."

I stood their for a moment, thinking about his words. I did miss him, and he might have some information about where Meredith is, if they have run into eachother. I slowly turned around.

"Ok, I'll have dinner with you, but I'm not making any promises beyond that." I said cautiously.

"Great, so then you'll be at Kate's apartment at seven o'clock?" he asked.

"Sure" I said beginning to feel good about it.

Mark looked at his watch.

"I have surgery, so I need to run. See you then." he said and smiled warmly.

As he ran off, he suddenly stopped and turned around.

"Oh, and Meredith is coming." He added before taking off again.

I stood there reeling. Tonight I would see her. I would get to tell her how I feel, and we could be together again I was sure it was not possible to be happier than I was at that moment. With every fiber of my being I knew I was doing the right thing, and for once I actually thought that maybe Mark and I would be brothers again.


	7. Chapter 7

Kate and I had been released from the hospital and Mark had arranged for me to take one more week off before my internship started at Boston General. He was coming over for dinner tonight, and I had planned on telling him about my situation. About Derek. About the baby.

The doorbell rang precisely at 7:15pm and Kate ran to the door. There stood a nicely dressed, clean shaven, sexy looking Mark Sloan with 2 bouquets of flowers in hand. He kissed Kate on the cheek, "For you my love, your favorite," as he handed his sister a bouquet of daisies. He walked toward me. "And for you," he kissed my cheek, "Sweet Meredith." He handed me the bouquet of lavender roses and a card. I didn't read the card right away. Damn how I wish I had.

Mark, Kate and I were sitting at the bar in the kitchen, laughing and catching up. Kate was surprised Mark and I knew one another so well, but once I explained who exactly my Derek was, her face froze. "As in Derek SHEPHERD? As in MARRIED TO SATAN Derek? Seriously?"

I nodded afraid to look into her eyes. I felt as though I had betrayed some sort of trust with her. I hadn't know how closely she fit into the equation of my life the day we met.

"Yes, Derek Shepherd. See that's how Mark and I know about one another..." I continued telling her about the escapades of Meredith, Derek, Mark and Addison and how we all wreaked havoc among the gossip mill of Seattle Grace Hospital.

Kate burst into laughter as I finished my story and Mark and I joined in. Thinking back, it was all pretty comical. A real life soap opera. We were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Kate got up to answer it, and as soon as she left the kitchen Mark turned to me. "Did you read the card with the roses, Meredith?" He looked panicked. I shook my head. "Shit," I heard him mumble when I heard Kate from the other room.

"OH MY GOD DEREK! What are you doing here?"

DEREK POV

I stood in my hotel room getting ready to see Meredith. I had slipped into black slacks and the shirt I wore the night Meredith and I met that we referred to as "my good looking red shirt." I hoped it might send a message to her about how much I cared. I did my hair, and splashed on some of her favorite cologne and took one last look in the mirror. For some reason, I couldn't seem to get my look quite right that night. I guess I just wanted to impress her so much.

"That's as good as it's gonna get." I told myself

I walked out the door, and got into my car to drive to Katie's house. One the way, I stopped to buy some roses for Meredith. Lavender colored roses because she knew I loved her lavender shampoo, and lavender was her favorite color. I arrive at Katie's house a few minutes later, and got out of my car to go inside. I walked up the front path and before I knew it, I was standing outside the front door. I could feel my heart racing, threatening to beat right out of my chest. My palms were sweaty, and my greatest fear was that she would not take me back, or worse that she wouldn't even want to see me. I gathered all my courage and knocked on the door. After a few seconds, the door opened and Katie was standing there.

She took one look at me and said,

""OH MY GOD DEREK! What are you doing here?"

"Katie" I said jokingly. "Try not to sound so happy to see me".

Mer POV

Oh. My. God. I shot a look at Mark who looked guilty as hell. I walked over to the flowers and opened the card. "Derek's in town, I invited him over. I hope that's okay. I figured we could all catch up. Love, M"

I dropped the card on the counter and turned around to see none other than Derek Shepherd standing in my kitchen. Less than ten feet from me. His eyes were burning into me and I suddenly felt sick again. I ran from the kitchen, right past Derek and into the bathroom. I didn't know if this was the morning sickness or just plain nerves. What the hell? How could Mark do this? Did he know something I didn't?

Der POV:

Katie invited me into the house, but for some reason she was still giving me a strange look. We walked into the living room, and I looked around taking in the décor of the house.

"They're in the kitchen. Why don't we go in there?" Katie said to me.

"Sounds good" I said warmly.

I followed her into the kitchen, and saw Meredith standing there, reading some kind of card. She looked absolutely beautiful, and I swear my heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, she looked up and saw me standing there. For a split second we made eye contact, and then as if I had made her sick, she ran out of the room. This is off to a fantastic start, I thought to myself. She doesn't even want to be in the same room as me.

I washed my face and looked into the mirror. My eyes were red, my face flushed. Damnit. I look like shit. I quickly applied some concealer under my eyes and put on some lip gloss hoping I could cover up the fact that I was so broken up.

I walked out of the bathroom just in time. I heard Derek ask Mark what was going on and Mark was about to tell him the news when I interrupted. "It's nothing, just a bug. Hi Derek. How have you been?" I shot Mark a look that would have killed him if it could. Obviously he got the clue because he quickly changed the subject.

Der POV:

Meredith was gone for a few minutes and I became worried. So I asked Mark,

"What's wrong? Why did she run out of here like she was sick?"

"Well, she's " Mark started. But Meredith had come back in the room, and she and Mark had exchanged a look. I knew some communication had taken place, but I didn't know what. So now they knew each other well enough to have conversations with their eyes? What was going on here?

"Who's ready for dinner?"

The four of us sat around the table in silence. No one knew what to say. I could feel Derek's eyes on me. I knew if I looked at him, I would melt. I had to stay strong, for myself as well as our unborn baby. Oh my gosh! The baby! Should I tell him? I mean, he has a right to know, doesn't he? But I just don't know if I can handle the fact that the only way he would stay is because of the fact I'm pregnant. I want him to stay because he loves me. I sighed. Obviously, it was a loud sigh because I heard Derek speak.

DINNER SCENE

As quickly as they exchanged the look, it passed and Mark said "Who's ready for dinner?" We all sat down at the table, and I couldn't seem to relax. I kept wondering what Meredith would say when I told her how I felt. The way things were looking, she wasn't too happy to see me. I looked across the table at Meredith. She held a pained expression on her face. It was almost as if, she didn't know what to do. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but I didn't even know where to begin, or if she would want to hear it. Suddenly, Meredith let out a long sigh.

"Meredith, are you ok?" I asked her, knowing that no matter what her response was, something was very wrong.

"Yes. No. I don't know," I didnt know what to say. Now was definitely not the time to drop the baby bomb on him, yet I didn't know how long I would be able to keep quiet. Luckily Kate noticed how uncomfortable I was and stepped in on my behalf.

DPOV:

I was beginning to wish that we could be alone. There was much we needed to talk about, and I was positive there was a lot not being said on her part as well. In fact, she looked downright uncomfortable. I became very sad. Was this what things had come to? My very presence made her uncomfortable? I was so angry at myself for how I had handled things, and for what they had come to. Katie's voice interrupted my thoughts.

Kate:

"Derek, Mer's just tired lately. She's overworking, shes had the flu and she's been my caregiver since Jeff and I split up. Especially with the fact that we—I'm pregnant, I think its just taking its toll on her."

MerPOV:

I smiled, nodding in agreement with what Kate had just told Derek. Though, I'm sure my face went white when she almost slipped up and said "We" referring to the pregnant part.

DerPOV:

What she said left me feeling terrible. I wanted to take care of Meredith, to bring her soup or tea when she was sick. I missed her terribly at work too. Wait a minute. Oh my god! Did Katie say we? She said we-I am pregnant. No! Could she have been referring to Meredith? Being pregnant? No, I decided that was impossible. She must have been referring to the fact that Meredith was taking care of her, and would help raise the baby. Husbands do that. They'll say "we are pregnant" since they are both expecting. That must have been what it was, because I would know if anything else was going on.

Derek:

"So, how is your internship here going? I asked Meredith in the attempt to make conversation with her.

Mer:

"It's different, thats for sure. But luckily," I grinned slyly at Mark, who was being unusually quiet, "Mark here is my attending. We've been known to get into a little trouble here and there haven't we, stud?"

Mark just about chocked on his water when I said that. It took all I had not to burst out laughing. Mark didn't like his nickname at Boston General. He liked McSteamy better, but I thought better of it, being our dinner guest was none other than McDreamy.

DerPOV:

As Meredith, responded to my question I picked up a piece of garlic bread and began eat it. As soon as I heard her call him a stud, I took in a breath sharply, which cause me to choke on the bread

Der:

"That's that's good" I said, my voice still catching my breath.

"Who's the head of neurosurgery? I wonder if it's someone I know." I asked.

Mer:

Whats gotten him so worked up? So what if i call Mark stud. We called him McDreamy and well, we all know hes more of a McAss for staying with Addison. "The head of neuro is Dr. Walters," I responded cooly, still wondering why he was bothered that Mark and I had grown close.

Der:

Dr. Walters? Hmm, not the most talented neurosurgeon. And did I detect a tone in Meredith;s voice? What was she getting irritated about? She's the one who moved across country and settled in with my best friend, calling him stud, and working closely with him, and calling him stud!. Well, ex-best friend with the way things were going. I mean, who is she to be angry? I tried to relax because being angry wouldn't help me to win her back.

"Hmm, I do know him." I said a little coolly, without meaning to. I'm sure that my opinion of Dr. Walter's and Meredith's response read on my face.

Mer:

"Dr. Walters is a very good Neurosurgeon Derek. I know you think you're Gods gift to brain surgery, but at least Dr. Walters knows how to treat his students!" I was getting fed up with Derek's questions and how skeptical he was being. Like I said before, it was NONE of his business WHAT I did or WHO I did it with!

"Mark, can I talk to you...privately," I asked him, putting emphasis on privately and shooting a look toward Derek.

Der POV:

What was her problem? I mean, I wasn't being arrogant. He isn't the best neurosurgeon. And what was she trying to imply? That I don't treat my students well? How could she say that? I am great to my students. Or at least, I try to be. And why was she getting so angry! She is the on shacking up with my ex-best friend. And what the hell was this bullshit about Meredith asking Mark to speak in private. Since when, can't she tell me everything! Since when did he become the one she opened up to!

Der:

"So are you sleeping with him too, or is Mark enough for you?" I said hotly.

Mer:

His words stung my soul. I turned around and shot him a look that could have pierced his heart. "What the hell did you just say?" My jaws were clenched and I'm sure my eyes were blazing.

Der:

Her look went through me like knife. It broke my heart.

"I said, Are you sleeping with him too, or is Mark enough for you" I repeated still furious.

Mer:

Before I could even think of a comeback, Derek was lying on the floor. Mark had come out of no where and threw a left hook that connected perfectly with his jaw. Ha, serves him right for calling me a whore in not so many words, AGAIN.

Mark:

"Don't you EVER disrespect her like that or imply shes doing something shes NOT! Who CARES if we WERE together, which we are NOT! She's not yours to control anymore Derek! I invited you over here tonight to try and resolve some things and MAYBE just MAYBE help reunite you and Meredith.

Mer:

Shit. Is this why Mark invited him? To try and help us work things out? What the hell? Now I was pissed at Mark.

Mark:

Obviously, you're still the same arrogant sonofabitch who thinks the world owes him something. I think it's best you leave and forget about EVER winning Meredith back."

Der:

I began pulling myself up off the floor, I was furious, Who the hell did Mark think he was? Her keeper? I stood up saying, "Respect? What the hell do you know about respect? You slept with my wife. M y wife, The woman I shared a life with for eleven years. And not just once, you screwed her regularly over a two month period. You lived with her, and you were supposed to be my best friend. What the hell kind of respect is that Mark?

Before Mark could respond, I punched him as hard as I could in the nose. Blood started to spurt out. Serves him right, I thought.

Mer:

Shit. I have two freaking surgeons in my kitchen fighting over what? Me? My feelings? Who the hell knows, who the hell cares. I just want it all to stop.

"Mark, bathroom NOW! Ill be there in a second. Derek," looking at him, "Leave. Go home to your wife." I followed Mark into the bathroom as Derek walked toward the door.

Der:

I could feel my heart literally splitting two. Meredith told me to leave, and go back to Addison. How did things go so unbelievably wrong? I came here hoping to win her back, hoping to let her know that I was unbelievably in love with her and leaving my wife, and now it looked as if she never wanted to see me again. I turned and headed to the door, and she and Mark walked into the bathroom. I heard the door close. Wait a minute! I was not going to leave just yet. I was going to wait until they came out. This was not over.

Mer:

I sat in the bathroom crying while Mark got his nose to stop bleeding. He knelt down beside me and began to comfort me.

Mark:

"Mer, I know you still love him. Why don't you give him a chance? Asshole as he may be, he's been in love with you since the day you met. Everyone saw it in Seattle, and I still see it here."

Mer:

"Mark, you're not helping any. You know how I feel about Derek. How I will always feel. He had his chance. He chose Addison. You and I both lost the loves of our lives because he was too damn stubborn to admit his feelings.

Mark:

"Well, he's gone now. What do you say we finish dinner and go see how Kate is. You know, she hasnt moved since all this began.

Mer:

I laughed at Mark. Poor Kate, having to witness all this drama. "Let's go." I opened the door expecting Derek to be gone, but there he stood. Leaning against the wall, arms crossed in front of him.

Der POV:

Meredith came out of the bathroom with Mark. Her eyes were red and swollen and I could tell she'd been crying. I immediately felt guilty. I didn't think she was really sleeping with Mark, at least I hoped not.

But there closeness made me crazy with jealousy. Mark had interfered enough in my love life. As I saw, the pain in her face, my anger slowly faded and all that was left was love for her. I had to tell her that I was incredibly in love with her. At least, she should know how I felt. It was time. "Meredith, I need to tell you that I am sooo"

Mer: I'd heard enough. Seriously. I could NOT deal with this right now. "Derek, Stop. I don't care what you have to say. I don't care what you NEED To tell me to make yourself feel better. I asked you once, I'll ask you again. Would you PLEASE Go home, to Seattle, back to your WIFE." I walked away from Derek and sat back down at the kitchen table, across from Kate.

"Welcome to the story of my life." I said to her. Tears began to stream down my face.

Der POV:

Her words felt like a slap across the face. She really wanted me to leave, to be as far away from her as possible. I didn't think it was possible to hurt as much as I was hurting right then. Well, I guess this is how it had to be. I wasn't going to force myself on her, that's for sure. I mean, when all is said in done, her happiness is what matters the most to me

And if me leaving would make her happy, then I would do it. But not before I set her straight about my so-called marriage. I walked back into the dining room and saw Meredith sitting with Kate. Fresh tears were making their way down her face.

"Meredith, I'm not married to Addison. The divorce papers were signed this morning. It doesn't make sense to stay with one person, when you love another" I told her sadly.

I knew the pain I was feeling was written all over my face, as well as my feelings for Meredith , but I didn't care.

So, I'll leave now. I don't want to be where I am not wanted. Good-bye Meredith." I said sadly. Then I turned and walked into the living room and out of the door to my car.

MerPOV:

The tears streaming down my face came harder as I heard the door shut. I loved Derek more than words could ever say. I should go after him. I should have given him a chance. He just confessed his love for me in not so many words yet here I sit, crying like a baby. OH MY GOD! The baby! I never told him. He had a right to know he was the father of the child I was carrying. I began to stand up to go after him, but the stress had taken over my body. As I stood up, I collapsed. The last thing I remember before falling unconscious was Derek's words: "I'm not married to Addison..."


	8. Chapter 8

Link for Song:

PLEASE listen, had been 3 months since the day I found out I was pregnant. And two months since I had last seen Derek. So much has changed in that amount of time. Derek had left me that night telling me that he had divorced Addison and basically had said that he loved me. He never knew I tried to stop him. By now, he probably had forgotten about me and his feelings for me. I still loved him. I wanted him back in my life. In our life. But, I was still scared. Scared now, of rejection. I had been so nasty to him that night.

Luckily, Mark and Derek had spoken on the phone and had met up from time to time and were mending their friendship. It seemed like everything was moving forward. Well, except my feelings for Derek.

**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**

I was almost 4 months along, Kate was due any day and Mark had moved in with us. He really was a godsend. Poor fellow, living with two hormonal pregnant women. Of course, Mark still didn't know the baby was Derek's. I know I should tell him. I mean, at one point Mark and Derek WERE like brothers. But what if he calls Derek? What if he tells him about the baby?

I woke up around 8 and walked toward the shower. I shed my clothes and stepped into the steaming water and let it run down my face. It felt good. Almost like it was washing my troubles away. If only it were that easy.

I looked down, my stomach beginning to pouch out a little. I placed my hand over it and smiled. At least I would always carry a part of Derek with me. He had been the love of my life and even if we weren't together, I would have a constant reminder of what it felt like to have loved and lost, and could possibly have again.

**Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.**

I was jolted out of my trance when Mark barged in. "Oh! Sorry Mer, I didn't know----" He blushed furiously as I quickly covered myself. He bolted from the room, I just laughed. Only Mark.

I finished toweling off and dried my hair. I wrapped myself in my robe and walked into my room where I found Mark sitting on my bed. He smiled sheepishly, 'Sorry bout that Mer...I just, I just had an idea and couldn't wait to tell you about it."

I sat beside him and assured him, it was okay. "What was so important that you had to interrupt my shower?"

"Well, I had this idea. You are almost 20 weeks along now, so I was wondering," he continued. "Maybe we could go in today and see if you can find out the sex of the baby. Then, if you want, you know, spend the day together, get things for the nursery."

I smiled. Mark was such a great friend. Sweet, kind, thoughtful. Had he not had such a history with Derek, I would almost date him.

**You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you.**

"That sounds great Mark, thanks. Wait, what about Kate?"

He laughed, "Don't worry babe, she's coming too. She's almost ready to pop and has heard walking can put her in labor! She's ready for that boy to come out!"

I laughed at him and stood to dress. I was about to drop my robe when I noticed Mark was still on the bed.

"Uh, Mark? Can I, uh, get dressed?"

He blushed again, "Oh, ya, sorry Mer." He ran out of the room almost as fast as he barged into the bathroom earlier. I changed quickly, becoming excited at possibly finding out the sex of my baby. I threw on some knit capris and a a sweatshirt and my running shoes and ran out the door to meet Mark and Kate.

**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**

9.

It had been a long three moths since I that fateful dinner at Meredith's house. I returned to Seattle, and everyone could tell I was a broken man. It became hard to get up for work in the morning. I stopped shaving regularly and walked around with a perpetual five o'clock shadow. Around the hospital, people would whisper about how pathetic I was to let a woman affect me this deeply, but they couldn't understand. Meredith was my breath of fresh air. I couldn't enjoy anything or be happy when she wasn't in my life. I couldn't even enjy the fact that the chief was clearly grooming me so that one day I could take his place. He had been giving me more and more responsibility.

**I am a dreamer and when i wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you**

One particular day, I came into work a bit early. I had showered and attempted to put myself together, but it was clear I hadn't been sleeping well and was under a lot of stress. That morning, I walked into my office with a cup of coffee and some files. I sat down, and began to read through them, when my office door opened. One of my scrub nurses whose name was Jamie walked in.

**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**

"Good Morning Dr. Sheperd" she said. Was it my imagination or was she being more friendly than normal?

"Good Morning Jamie?" I said wondering what she wanted.

"So, what are you up to?" she asked. Okay, this was weird. The nurses never came in just for a chat.

"I'm just reviewing some files, and preparing for surgery." I replied.

"Oh okay. We have a ten o-clock surgery right?" she asked. Ok, now she was giving me a strange looked. It was almost..no..it couldn't be. She was flirting with me.

"Jamie, did you need something?" I asked.

"Well, it's just that the other nurses and I have noticed how sad you have been." Jamie said tentatively. I must look really bad if my nurses were calling me on it.

**And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bare my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me**

"Well, I've been going through a lot, and well it's really very personal and I'd rather not discuss it." I said firmly.

"Ok, All I am saying" Jamie said with a grin. "Is if you'd give me the chance, I'm sure I could make it better." she said as she winked at me. Oh brother, she clearly didn't get it. Well, I was just going to have to clarify then.

"Jamie, have you ever been completely and totally in love with someone?" I asked.

"Well, yeah." She said. "What does that have to do with it?"

"Multiply that by 100, and you might have a fraction of what I feel for the woman I have lost. There's no fixing that. Not unless, I got her back. Otherwise, I fear I will be broken forever." I explained to her.

Her face fell and she quietly responded. "Oh ok, I didn't know." Right before she walked out the door.

**I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.**

**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**


	9. Chapter 9

We pulled into the parking lot of Boston General and made our way up to the OB floor. My doctor was waiting for us when we arrived.

"Meredith! Kate! How are my girls?" Dr. Jacobs smiled when he saw us. "Mark, how are you today?"

"You ask how I'm doing? I live with 2 pregnant women." Both men laughed as Dr. Jacobs escorted us to the room. I laid onto the table and lifted my shirt, exposing my bare belly.

"Ok, Meredith, you know the drill. It's going to be cold."

I nod as I wait anxiously to see a picture of my baby on the screen.

"There she is," Dr. Jacobs said.

"She?"

"Oh my gosh Mer! You're having a girl! And I'm having a boy! Oh Mer, I'm so happy for you!" Kate grabbed my hand as the three of us stared at my daughter moving around on the ultrasound screen.

"Kate, would you like to see your son on the ultrasound machine one last time before we deliver him?"

Kate nodded anxiously as she laid on the table once I had gotten up.

"Wow Kate! Look at him! He's sooo cute! I can't wait to meet my nephew!" Mark was really getting into this baby thing. He really would be a great dad one day.

Suddenly, Kate screamed in pain. Dr. Jacobs immediately hooked her up to monitor her contractions and checked her cervix. "Kate, honey, it looks like your little man wants to make his appearance a little bit early. Can I ask you something?"

Kate nodded.

"How long have you been feeling contractions?"

Kate hesitated, "Since the day before yesterday..."

"Kate! Why didn't you tell us?" I screeched.

"I didn't think it was anything. I mean, I was so close I just figured he was dropping..."

"Kate! You're going to have him today!" Mark hugged his little sister as he held her while Dr. Jacobs called for the OB nurse to assist him.

"Kate, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're far too dialated to receive any of the drugs to ease the pain. You're already at 9 cm and your son will be here within the hour. I'll be back in a few minutes to check on you, congratulations."

We all huddled together, excited that Kate was in labor. I was having a baby girl, Kate's son was being born today, and Mark was the best friend anyone could ask for. I was beginning to love my life again.

Two hours later, Cameron Alexander Sloan was born. Kate had gone back to her maiden name once she filed for divorce from Jeff. He was beautiful. Thick brown hair, baby blue eyes. He was perfect. I suddenly felt very excited about the arrival of my daughter.

As Kate rested, Mark and I decided to head out into town and get her some gifts. While we were out, we were going to get some things for my baby too. Our first stop was in the square, at a small baby boutique. The two of us were laughing and carrying on, holding up baby clothes to my belly, having a great time. Any onlooker would have thought we were together. Little did we know, someone was watching our every move.


	10. Chapter 10

Mark and I got back to the hospital just as Kate was waking up. He and I looked like we had bought everything possible for a new baby. He had about six bags and I had another four. When we walked in, Kate started laughing. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you two were married. Look at you!" She started laughing harder, as I turned to look at Mark who had started pulling things out of one of his bags.

He had a burp cloth on one shoulder, a few rompers carefully balanced on his knee, and a package of baby bottles trying to open the plastic around them. I had to laugh too. Even though he didn't have a child, he sure was acting like he was a proud papa.

The nurse interrupted our laughter as she walked in holding a tiny blue bundle. She placed Cameron in Kate's arms and walked back out of the room, not saying a word. Kate opened the blanket a bit, exposing a tiny nose, chubby cheeks, and the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.

I suddenly had baby envy. I couldn't wait until my little girl arrived. I couldn't help but feel a little guilt too. I mean, look at Mark, cooing over his baby nephew, and all I could see was Derek. How wonderful he would be as a father. How amazing he would be to me before I gave birth and while I was in labor. I felt my heart aching for his touch, to see his smiling face. I suddenly spoke up, surprising even myself, "Derek's the father."

Kate and Mark looked at me with disbelief. Suddenly, Marks face grew cold. "What did you say Meredith?" His tone pierced my heart. He had never spoken to me in such a tone, and I knew he was upset with me. He turned and walked out of the room. Hell, who could blame him? I had the chance, so many times, to tell him, to tell Kate, to tell Derek. But, I didn't.

"Meredith?" Kate asked me.

"Yea?"

"Why didn't you tell us? I thought you trusted us. You know we would have supported you either way right?"

I sighed. She was right. I think the only reason I hadn't told anyone is the fact that I'd never truly admitted it to myself.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I do trust you guys. I just really didn't know how to tell you. I had planned on telling you that night. You know, the night Derek showed up for dinner. It was just too much. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't live knowing he 'settled' for me because I was pregnant. If Derek and I are meant to be, we will be."

Mark nodded and walked over to me. "It's okay sweetheart. We just wish you would have told us sooner. It would make what I'm about to tell you a helluva lot easier."

Oh shit, what did he have to tell me? Obviously it involved Derek. I hesitated, "What Mark? What do I need to know?"

Mark POV:

I walked out into the hallway, still shocked by what Meredith had just told me. I didn't care about their history or our friendships, he was the father and damnit, he had a right to know.

I dialed his number and anxiously waited for him to pick up the phone.

Der POV:

I pulled the phone out of my pocket again, and flipped it open. I said hello, but my I knew my voice carried all the pain and confusion I was feeling at that moment.

Mark:

Derek, thank god you answered. Okay, so, I know things between us are rocky, but...

Derek:

"Rocky? Why the hell would things be rocky? Because you are having a baby with the woman I love? I'm so done trying to be your friend. I should have known better than to give such a jackass a second chance" I seethed. He had hurt me more deeply than I had ever been hurt. This time there would be no forgiving. I took a deep breath, this couldn't be happening. I felt my world crashing down around me.

Mark:

Wait! Derek what did you just say? You know about Meredith? How did you...

Derek:

"How the hell do you think I know? Eva saw you too shopping for baby clothes, and feeling the baby kick. Mark she is the love of MY life. I am supposed to be with her.. not..not.." but I could no longer take it. Tears began to fall again, and I couldn't speak.

Mark:

Derek, you've got it all wrong. I called to tell you that Kate had her baby. It's a boy. And regarding the Meredith issue, the baby's not mine. She's yours.

Derek POV:

I was stunned into silence Could Mark be telling me the truth? Could Meredith really be pregnant with my baby? I felt my whole world being turned upside down.

Mark POV: Hey Rico. You still with me?

Derek:

Yeah right. I am supposed to believe the man that screwed my wife behind my back. Not the best way to convince me of your morals Mark. You are a lying bastard and we both know it!"

Mark:

Why would I lie about this Derek? Seriously. You know me better than that. I may not be the best friend in the world, but I have morals. Shes right at 20 weeks Derek. How long ago was Prom?

Dereks Thoughts:

It had been twenty weeks since prom exactly. That would mean Mark was telling the truth. That would mean Meredith was pregnant with my baby. OH MY GOD! I was going to be a father. Holy hell, this was HUGE news. And suddenly I was elated. I had to see her.

Derek:

"Ummm yeah, just trying to process that I am going to be a father. Holy shit Mark! I am going to be a father! Me! Derek Shepherd, a dad! Ok, I'm on my way. I'll get there as soon as I can.

Mark:

See ya soon Derek. Oh and, I'm sorry about all this. I would have told you sooner, but well, she just informed me today about it. Actually about 10 minutes ago. So you know, I did the right thing for once in my life.

Der POV:

I hung up the phone, and I could feel adrenaline rushing through my veins. I was unbelievably excited and nervous all at the same time.

"Jamie, I have to go. It's an emergency." I explained. We got in my car to head home, and in my mind I was already with Meredith, not it was time to get my body there too.

"Well, I called and told Derek, Kate here had her baby. Kate and Derek have always been close and I figured he would want to know. What I didn't expect when I called, though, was for him to tell me he was on the next plane out to Boston."

I couldn't believe this. Derek was coming back to Boston? I was showing now, so there was no way to hide the fact that I was pregnant. I needed reinforcements, and fast.

"Uh, I'll be right back," I said to Mark and Kate who exchanged curious glances as I rushed out into the hallway. I quickly opened my cellphone and called the one person I knew would know the right things to say: Cristina.

Mer:

"Cris, hey it's me.

Cris:

"Hey Mer. It's about damn time you called me. Did you forget how to dial?"

Mer:

Yea, Yea, smartass. But seriously,I need your help.

Cris:

Oh, so now that you need me, you call. I see how it is.

Mer:

Derek's coming to Boston.

Cris:

"What? Mcdreamy is coming to boston? How did that happen?

Mer:

McSteamy. Who else.

Cris:

Oh jeez, McTooHotForMyScrubs strikes again

Mer: (laughing)

Yea. You know Mark. Although he does look hot in his scrubs... SO anyway, can you come?

Cris:

yeah, not as hot as he thinks he does though. Mer, of course I'll come. But you do know that I would only miss surgeries for my person right? I mean, I could be scrubbing in on a whipple, but I coming to help you. Just so you know.

Mer:

Thank you SO much Cris. You are TRULY My person! OH and by the way, Derek doesn't know...

Cris:

"What! you didn't tell him that you were having his baby! Meredith Grey, I am seriously going to kick your ass."

Mer (feeling guilty):

Well I did try. But it didn't work out so well. How's he been anyway?

Cris:

"Um, he's been good" Christina said quickly.

Mer Thoughts:

I knew something was up. She was my person and I knew when she was hiding something.

Mer: (growing worried)

Cristina? What are you not telling me?

Cris:

"Mer, Derek asked that scrub nurse Jamie out. They're on a date as we speak. In fact, well, I don't know if I should be saying this...

Mer Thoughts:

My world stopped. He had moved on. Without me. I sighed. I only had myself to blame. What was I thinking? That he would wait forever for me to finally make up my mind and come running back to him?

Mer: (crying)

Seriously? What else are you hiding Cris? Seriously!

Cris:

"Well...he seems happy. There's been an extra spring in his step or something. I'm sorry Meredith, I don't mean to upset you.

Mer Thoughts:

Yep. My world had officially crashed. He was definitely moving forward. I could feel the tears slide down my face when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I yelled in pain and dropped my phone and the last thing I remember saying was "Help me Cris...there's something wrong with the baby..."

Cris:

"Mer...Meredith!" I yelled into the phone but there was no answer. Oh my god! Something was wrong with Meredith and the baby, and I was more scared than I would ever admit. I kept thinking that I should probably kick my own ass. How could I have told her that? I knew it would just upset her. I felt terrible. I needed to get to her. My person needed me, and I needed her. I hung up the phone and sprinted out of the room to my car, so I could get there as soon as humanly possible.


	11. Chapter 11

I must have been out for hours, because when I woke up, Mark and Cristina were standing beside my bed looking at me.

"Oh thank god," I heard Mark say. "Meredith, we didn't know what was going to happen. It was truly touch and go on the baby for a while. Her heart rate kept dropping. The stress you are allowing to be put on your body, it's really taking its toll on her Mer. You have GOT to take it easy."

I could feel the tears falling down my face. Not only had I let this almost hurt my daughter, but Derek never came. I knew Mark had said he was on the next plane out, but Cris was already here and I called her AFTER he called Derek. He was probably still on that date. I could feel my anxiety build again, as I heard the monitors begin to beep. A nurse rushed in and pushed some medication into the IV, almost instantly sedating me again. Damn nerves.

I woke up a few hours later and Derek still hadn't arrived. I was beginning to worry that either something had happened to him or he just wasnt coming. Cristina was sitting by my bed and Mark had just wheeled Kate and Cameron into my room.

"Kate, I'm sorry I ruined your day. Today is Cameron's birthday, and here I am, taking up all the attention," I said, crying out guilt.

"OH Mer, don't be sorry. The best thing is that you and your baby girl stay safe. I brought someone to see you." She smiled as she handed Cameron over to me. He sure was the cutest little thing I'd ever seen.

He gripped my pinky finger and chewed on it as everyone in the room had their eyes on me. I could hear them whispering, "She's a natural," "Look how good she is with him," among other things. All I could do was smile and focus on the little being in my arms.

Cameron cuddled himself close to me as I held on to him for dear life, savoring the feeling of having him in my arms. I looked up around the room and smiled at everyone, especially Mark and Kate. We were a family. The three, soon to be four of us.

"You're going to make a great mother, Meredith. Your daughter will be a very lucky girl to be able to call you her mother," Mark said to me, his voice full of love and compassion.

"I just wish Derek were here for me to share it with." I began to cry again. I handed Cameron back to Kate as I felt my anxiety begin to rise. "Where is he anyway?"

Everyone in the room exchanged worried glances and I began to panic. "Where is Derek? Did something happen to him? Why isn't he here? He should have been here hours ago! Someone tell me something!"

Before I knew it, I was yet again being sedated. What the hell was going on and why wouldn't anyone tell me where Derek was?

Der POV:

On the way to my house I called the airport, and discovered that there was one last flight tonight to Boston. It departed exactly 50 min from that moment, and I lived about 30 min from the airport. I would just barely make it. Jamie and I arrived at her house, and I gave her a quick hug, apologized and turned to leave.

"Derek, what's going on?" Jamie asked me. I turned to her and her expression was filled with confusion and hurt. Instantly, I felt guilty. This was mess was not Jamie's fault, and yet she was in the middle of it.

"Jamie, I am so sorry. It's just that I just got some information I didn't know, and well I need to go. I've made some pretty big mistakes, and now it's time for me to fix them. I am so sorry I pulled you into this mess. You are a wonderful woman, and you deserve guy who can see that, and who will love you and treat you right. Unfortunately, that can't be me. I gave my heart away a long time ago, and I never really got it back." I explained feeling worse by the moment. I watched Jamie's face fall, and the pain was evident. I didn't understand how someone I hardly knew could be so crushed.

"Are you ok?" I asked her gently. I couldn't just take off with her so upset. That would be cold and callous and that is not how I am.

"Um, no not really. But you have to go. I don't want to keep you." she said.

"Well, Jamie, I don't want to leave you if you are not ok." I explained. "I feel awful that I hurt you. I never meant for things to happen this way." I said as I searched her face to see if she was ok.

"I'm sorry Derek. I shouldn't be holding you up. It's just that, well, we've worked together for about nine months right? And over that time, I've spent quite a bit of time with you. Derek, a woman can't spend nine months with a man as incredible as you, and not develop some pretty strong feelings. And ever since I've known you, you've been involved with Meredith, even if you broke up with her, you were still mentally involved. I just thought maybe we finally had a chance to be together. But, it seems that you never really left Meredith."

Oh man, How did I not see this? How did I never pick up that she had feelings for me? Sometimes, I swear I could be so clueless.

"Jamie, I am so sorry. Like I said, you are a lovely woman. It's not person you see. It's just that I fell in love with Meredith from the day I met her. Once that happened, I could never see another woman that way. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Believe me, that would be the last thing I would want to do." I explained. I stole a quick glance at my watch. I needed to leave, and I needed to leave NOW!

Jamie looked up at me and wiped a few tears from her face. "I know, its ok Derek. I know you never meant to hurt me. These things happen. You should go. You need to get to her. It is her right?" Jamie said sadly.

"Yes, it's her. It's always been her, and it always will be." I said quietly.

Jamie walked forward and gave me a hug. "Well, then she's one hell of a lucky woman. Go get her." She said.

"Thanks Jamie, and whichever guy gets you. He will be a lucky fellow." I said and then I got back into the car and took off. I drove quickly to the airport, continuing to look at the clock impatiently. When I exited the freeway, I was still about 15 minutes from the airport, and the plane was going to leave in 25 min. I finally got to the airport, and I parked. I jumped out of the car, and began running into the airport, dodging people and looking frantically for the gate.

Mark / Cris POV:

Mark and Cristina decided to get some coffee while Meredith was resting.

Mark: She's really had a rough time. I just found out today the baby was Derek's. Do you know why she kept it such a secret?

Cris POV:

Uh yeah, because she didn't want him to feel obligated to her. Noone wants someone to be with then out of obligation

Mark

Yea well I guess thats understandable. But why wouldnt she tell me or Kate?

Cris POV:

I think she was afraid you would tell him. And speaking of what exactly did you tell him?

Mark POV:

OH well, I just told him that Kate had her baby...and...um...(trails off)

Cris:

Um what? Um Sounds to me like Meredith was smart not to tell you, now wasn't she?

Mark:

Well, when I called to INITIALLY tell him about Kate, he started yelling at me about how Mer was pregnant with MY baby. I had to set him straight. I know I've not always done right by Derek, but seriously, I didn't want him thinking I'd gone and knocked Meredith up and KNOWING how he felt about her.

Cris:

God, he can be such a Mcidiot. Figures he would think that. So, did he believe you? Because Meredith does not need World War III. What else did he say?

Mark:

Well, he was silent for like five minutes. I had to ask if he was still there. Before I knew it he had told me he was on the next flight out and had hung up the phone.

Cris POV: I started laughing despite myself. I would have paid to see the look on his face. Priceless.

Cris:

"Well at least he's coming. That's good. Maybe they will finally work things out"

Mark:

Yea, maybe...IF he ever gets here. Where the hell is he anyway?

Cris:

"Your guess is as good as mine. You don't think..." I paused afraid to even say it. "You don't think that he decided to stay with Jamie do you? I mean its so obvious that she's crazy about him"

Mark: (sighed)

Surely not. I mean, he said he was on the next flight out. That was over six hours ago...I just hope nothing hap----- (Mark's phone begins to ring, he looks at the caller ID) Speak of the devil.

Switch to Mark/Der POV

Mark: Hey papa. Where the hell are you?

Derek:

I missed my freaking flight. Jamie was upset, in tears actually, and it would have been seriously messed up to walk away while she was crying. So I'm on a flight ot New Haven and then I am going to charter a plane. How is Mer doing?

Mark:

Well, she's been better. The anxiety keeps causing her heart rate to speed up which is causing the baby's to slow down, so they have been keeping her sedated. Man, you need to get here soon! She thinks you're not coming.

Derek POV:

This terrified me. It killed me to know that my baby and the love of my life were in trouble and I couldn't be there. My sense of urgency increased. I just had to get to Meredith.

Derek:

"I am coming as fast as I can. Trust me, I want nothing more than to be there with here. Take care of her for me until I get there Mark."

Mark:

"Which her, Derek? Meredith or the baby?"

Derek:

What?!! Mark are you telling me I have a baby girl! I have a daughter?" I had to take a deep breath to absorb what he just said. I was incredibly excited. I couldn't wait to meet my beautiful girl.

Mark:

Shit. You weren't supposed to know that yet. Okay well you have a right to know, just do NOT tell Meredith I told you that. ( I could see Cristina looking at me shaking her head) How long are you gunna be buddy?

Derek:

"Thanks Mark. What would I do without you? Let's see, we are going to land in about 20 minutes in New Haven. Then I can charter a plane right there at the airport. Should take me about 45 min to go from New Haven to Boston, so I'd say and hour and a half ought to do it. And Mark? Thank you.

Mark:

Alright, Ill be at the airport in about an hour. Ill come pick you up. See ya then! And you don't have to thank me. Someone needs to take care of Meredith, and since I'm the one thats here, I take that responsibility.

Derek:

"No I do. Meredith is my world. And the fact that you understand that, and are handling it for me, well, that means everything to me." I told him very earnestly

Mark:

Alright, well, Cristina's poking me because the nurse just told her Meredith was waking up. I will see you soon.

Derek:

Bye Buddy.

Mark/Cris POV

Cris:

and you asked me why Meredith wouldn't tell you that Derek was the father. Any more questions

Mark:

Point taken.

Cris:

Alright well she would want to know that Derek is on the way. We should go tell her."


	12. Chapter 12

Very Powerful Update----**-You've been warned**

I sat there waiting for Mark and Cristina to come back into my room. I stared out the window at the pouring rain. Reminded me of home. Seattle. Derek. I sighed. Derek. He had always been my rock. My reason to wake up everyday. Where was he? I needed him now more than ever and I had no idea where he was or if he was even okay.

I heard the door click and I turned to see Mark and Cris enter my room.

"Have you heard from Derek?"

"Yes, he's on his way. He missed his flight and is chartering a plane as we speak. He should be here within an hour and a half." Mark told me.

I smiled. Derek was coming. He was coming home to me.

Derek :::

I hung up the phone with Mark feeling relieved. At least, Meredith knew I was on the way. I would get there as soon as I could to take care of her and my baby girl. I looked out the window enjoying the view of the water as we flew from New Haven to Boston.

"How much longer?" I asked the pilot. I didn't want to spend a second more away from Meredith. We had wasted too much time apart, and it was time for us to move on together.

"About 15 minutes till we descend." He replied.

That meant about 40 minutes until I could once again see the love of my life. I could not wait to take her in my arms and hold her. Suddenly, a noise quite like the stalling of a car engine interrupted my thoughts.

"Um, What's that?" I asked the pilot.

"Oh, nothing to panic about sir. I think I can fix this." he replied. But I could hear the anxiety in his voice. And then the stalling sound happened again.

"That's not good, is it?" I said. "Tell me the truth, no anesthesia"

"Sir, the engine has stopped working and I can't get it to restart. We are going to go down." He told me.

My heart began to race with fear. I would never be able to tell Meredith how much I loved her, never be able to hold my baby girl. I could feel the plane falling, and felt so utterly helpless.

"Look, there's a small field. I am going to try to steer the plane there" he said to me. The plane began moving in that direction, and now we were over the field and falling fast. All the things I was going to miss flashed through my mind. I would miss the chance to marry Meredith, to see my baby girl's first steps, her first day of kindergarten, to see her learn to drive and go to the prom.

We neared the field and the pilot attempted to make the plane skid across the grass. But we had been falling to fast, and the plane did not skid. It his the ground and suddenly all I could hear was the sickening crunch of glass, and all I was aware of was my body being thrown forward and immense pain. That was the last thing I remember.

Mer:::

We sat there talking and discussing possible baby names. So far Mark had come up with Ellie, Daisy, and Buffy.

"Seriously Mark? Buffy?" I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my face.

Cristina had come up with Kalia, Maya, and Bella. "Hmm not too bad. Definitely not a Buffy though!"

Mark looked at his watch. "OK, Time for me to go pick up Derek. You two ladies behave!" He stood to leave just as I turned on the radio. A sudden darkness overcame my mind. The announcer was saying, " ... a small charter plane has just crashed right outside of Boston. No details are available at this time... " Mark stopped dead in his tracks.

I sat there on the edge of the bed listening to the live coverage of the plane crash. Surely they were not talking about Derek's plane. They couldn't be. He was finally coming home to me. We were finally going to get our second chance. This could not be happening. I put my hand over my stomach and gently stroked it, speaking to my daughter softly as I rubbed, "It'll be okay sweetie. Daddy will be here soon."

I looked at the clock. It had been an hour since we heard about the crash. Supposedly it was in the middle of nowhere and it was taking rescue teams a while to get there due to the weather. Derek should be here any minute, I keep telling myself. He was not on that plane.

The tears began to fall just as I heard the guy on the radio say, "We have a visual picture of the crash. Please tune into channel 26..." I grabbed the remote and turned on the television as fast as I could. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Derek:::

The next thing I knew, I was faintly aware of sounds around me. I could hear a man's voice calling out orders, and there was another voice as well. I opened my eyes, and became aware tremendous pain in my head. All I could think about, was that I had to get to Meredith and my baby. I sat up, feeling how sore my body was, and tried to pull myself to standing position, but I could not do it. Everything was foggy, and I had trouble orienting myself. I could still hear voices in the background as well as sirens. I looked down trying to figure out why I couldn't get up, and then I saw it.

My leg was trapped beneath some debris of the plane. I tried yanking on my leg, but the only thing that accomplished was to cause a sharp pain to travel up it.

"Help" I said, "I need help. I need Meredith" was all I managed to get out before collapsing back onto the ground. Two men came rushing over to me.

"Sir, are you ok?" they asked me.

"No" I said, "I am trapped" The men looked down and saw the piece of debris that had pinned my leg. They both took hold, and told me that on the count of three they were going to lift up, and I was suppose to pull my leg back. I was scared as hell.

"One, two, three" they said and they heaved the debri up and back. Simultaneously, I pulled on my leg causing the most intense pain I have ever felt to flow through it. But it did come free. It was only then that I noticed the blood coming from my head, and the blood on my clothes.

"Sir, are you going to be ok? There's another trapped person that needs help." They asked.

"Go, I'm fine." I told them. I finally stood up and my leg hardly supported me. I was becoming strangely cold as well, and the pain in my head and leg were growing. Suddenly, I was more scared than I had ever been. I knew there was something seriously wrong with me. No one loses that much blood unless there is something seriously wrong. I was in pain, and terrified and I needed Meredith more than ever. I tried to get up and walk, and I kept calling out for her. I needed her so badly, and I didn't want her to worry.

"Meredith, I need Meredith" was all I kept saying.

Mer:::

My hand flew to my mouth. I felt Mark put his arms around me and hold me, and I felt Cristina grab my other hand. There he was. Derek. My Derek. Wandering around the wreckage, disoriented. He was bloody and limping and searching for someone. I couldn't hear him, but I could see his mouth. I whispered, "Meredith."

Mark looked at me, "What Mer?"

I said to him, "Mark. Look at him. Read his lips. What does it look like he's saying to you?"

Mark studied the picture on the television showing Derek wandering around searching frantically for someone. I heard him repeat Derek's words: "Meredith."

Derek was looking for me.

Der:::

I saw a helicopter a few feet from me, and a man came rushing out of it.

"Sir, are you ok? Let us give you a lift to the hospital. Are you ok?" he said to me. Still all I could think of was Meredith.

"I'm fine. But I have to somewhere to be, and I have to go now." I said insistenly. The pain in my head was growing.

He looked at me with concern. "You need to go to the hospital sir" he told me. Why didn't they understand? There was no time. I was becoming very dizzy. I grabbed my head and said.

"Meredith. I have to find Meredith. I have to find her." I tried explaining again.

"I love you Mer. I'll be home soon. Tell Sara, daddy's coming." That was the last think I managed to say because after that, everything went black.

Mer:::

My eyes were glued to the television set as Derek continued to yell my name. Where were the EMTs? The paramedics? Why were they filming him and not helping him! I found myself wanting to scream at the television, when I noticed, Derek was coming more into focus. I suddenly saw another man grab hold of him. It was a news reporter. The one who had been taping him this whole time.

Newsman: Sir, are you okay? Let us give you a lift to the hospital. Are you okay?

Der: I'm a surgeon, I'm fine. I just have somewhere to be. I have to get there now.

Newsman: You need to goto the hospital sir

Der: Meredith. I have to find Meredith. I have to find her.

Derek looked at the camera, like he was staring right into Meredith's eyes, "I love you Mer. I'll be home soon. Tell Sara, daddy's coming.

My eyes filled with tears once again. He knew. And he was still coming. At this point, I didn't care how he found out. He was okay and he was coming home.

I looked down at my stomach again, "Hear that Sara? Daddy's coming home."

I looked back at the television in time to see Derek collapse. I found myself screaming at the television, "DEREK!"


	13. Chapter 13

I woke up in a cold sweat. It had been hours since I had seen Derek collapse. I don't remember anything. I look frantically around the room for a familiar face. When I see no one I page the nurse.

"Are you okay ma'am?" the nurse asked me.

"I'm fine. Where are my friends?"

"They are outside Ms. Grey. I will go get them." She turns and starts to walk away when I interrupt her.

"Did they bring in the guy from the plane crash?"

She grew silent. She turned toward me and walked back to my bedside. She gently placed her hand on mine, "Yes sweetie they did..."

"AND?"

"I can't give you that information, I'm sorry..." She turned and exited my room.

My mind was reeling. Where was he? Was he here? Was he alive? What happened to him?!

Screw this. I stood up and threw on a robe and carefully walked toward the door. I pushed it open, surprised to see so many people standing outside my door.

"Where is he," I managed to choke out. Mark walked over to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "Where is he Mark? Where's Derek?"

Derek POV:::

As a surgeon I would never have known this, but anesthesia can make you have some strange dreams. I felt myself floating almost as if I was on a cloud. It was peaceful and relaxing. Then before I knew it, I was on the path in the woods near my trailer. I started walking through the woods. It was beautiful with green trees, and the sun was shining. Despite the beauty, I couldn't help but miss Meredith. The journey was not enjoyable unless she was by my side. I needed her. I began looking everywhere in the woods for her. I knew she had to he there somewhere. She wouldn't abandon me, I just knew it. I walked around weaving in and out of the trees but I still couldn't find her. I decided to continue on the path towards the water to see if she was anywhere in that area.

Suddenly, I became exhausted feeling like I could no longer walk. I knew that I needed her now more than ever.

Mer:::

"He's in surgery Mer. He's pretty banged up. They don't know anything yet," Mark whispered to me. I felt my knees let go as I hit the floor, tears flooding down my face. Mark and Cristina knelt down beside me.

"NO! Don't touch me! I only want to feel Derek's arms around me! I have to feel him! I have to see him! He has to come home to me! I need him in my life! I can't go on without him!"

Mark had grabbed a wheelchair for me and I sat staring blankly at the wall, awaiting news from Dr. Walters. I had to laugh to myself remembering Derek's response to hearing I was working under Dr. Walters. So much could have been prevented that night. I felt the tears begin to well back up In my eyes. I wasn't just going to sit here and do nothing. I stood up.

"Don't any of you try to stop me," my voice was hoarse from crying. I turned away from them and made my way to the surgical gallery. I wasn't going to let him be alone. He needed me there, he needed my presence. I knew he would feel me. I slowly opened the door, completely unprepared for what I was about to see.

Der POV:::

"Meredith!" I called. "Meredith! I need you! I can't do this without you! The sun began to lower and it was rapidly getting darker outside. Meredith, I need you! I need you to be with me!" I called out. And then I heard it.

Mer:;:

Derek lay on the table motionless. Dr. Walters was operating on his brain and his leg was in a cast. He had cuts and bruises all over him and he looked lifeless. I tried to contain my hurt and pain, but I couldnt. As I began to sob, Dr. Walters saw me in the gallery. Suddenly, one of the scrub nurses shut off the light.

"NO! Turn it back on! He can't be alone! I NEED To be there with him! He needs me to pull through. Please Please don't do this! Please!" I slid to the ground still pleading silently when I heard a voice come over the intercom.

"Turn on the light." I heard the voice say.

"No, she's disrupting us. I cannot concentrate with her up there."

"I said turn on the light. NOW."

The light came back on and I picked myself up off the floor. I looked down into the OR and saw Mark standing there. He grabbed Derek's hand. "I'm not leaving either."

Der POV:::

Her voice rang out as clear as day. "NO! Turn it back on! He can't be alone! I NEED To be there with him! He needs me to pull through. Please Please don't do this! Please!"

"Meredith! Is that you! I need you baby! Where are you?" I began to look for her frantically, but she was still nowhere to be found. I broke into a run, feeling like if I could just go a little farther, I might find her. But it was no use. I became dizzy, and could no longer walk. Everything started to go black, and I felt as if I was fading away. "Meredith…" I managed to get out.

Mer:::

He began to crash.

"NO! Derek you can't leave me! You cant leave Sara! We NEED YOU! Derek, hold on!" I rushed out of the gallery as fast as I could and ran in to the scrub room. I quickly washed my hands and threw on my surgical garb and walked into the OR.

"No! You can't come in here! He's crashing! You're in my way!"

"Shove it Dr. Walters! He needs me and Im not going anywhere either!"

I grabbed Dereks hand and whispered in his ear, "Sara's waiting to meet her daddy Derek and I'm waiting for you to come home."

Derek:::

Then her voice rang out again. "NO! Derek you can't leave me! You cant leave Sara! We NEED YOU! Derek, hold on!" she cried.

"Meredith, I'm here!" I cried. But I was almost at the point of passing out.

"He needs me and Im not going anywhere either!" I heard her say. And then in a whisper, she added. ""Sara's waiting to meet her daddy Derek and I'm waiting for you to come home".

Sara. My baby girl. Sara needed her daddy, Meredith needed me, and I needed my girls. I fought the darkness. I would not surrender to it. I was not going to abandon them.

Suddenly, I was no longer passing out, but I was floating again. Floating on a cloud. Floating away….

Mer:::

Within seconds, Derek's vitals stabilized and the surgical team finished up. I never left his side. I wasn't going anywhere ever again.


End file.
